“The meaning of life isn’t to be happy.”
uf recently went on a podcast with Jon Bernthal, one of my favorite actors, to discuss his alcoholism and the darkest moments he had in the last few years.
His abuse of women. His abuse of coworkers. His abuse of his own father.
It’s a heavy episode.
It’s the first time I heard someone say the meaning of life ISN’T to be happy.
“The meaning of life is to be of service to other people,” Shia said.
This completely goes against everything I was taught as a kid.
Remember that famous John Lennon quote?
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
We applaud the idea that we should strive for happiness and enjoy life as if that’s going to give us purpose.
But I did that.
I traveled the world.
I had millions of people watch my videos.
I made enough money to live the lifestyle that would make me happy.
Except I wasn’t all that happy.
Something was missing. I accomplished everything I wanted to accomplish and I felt bankrupt in my soul.
Then I read a book by an author many people either love or hate.
Jordan Peterson.
He writes that the way to find purpose in life isn’t to chase whatever the soul desires. It’s to take on responsibility. It’s to cut out all the self-centeredness from your life.
It’s to help other people.
I started cutting stuff out of my life that didn’t need to be there. I deleted my page that half a million people followed. I stopped making videos. I disappeared to a country where nobody knew or cared who I was.
Then I created a program designed to help other creators find their voice online, and it’s been the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done as an entrepreneur.
There was an interesting comment underneath the Shia interview that I wanted to share here.
Youtube user Randal Hollis wrote this comment with 450 likes:
“This isn’t just a Shia thing. This is a whole generation and then some of broken people. The ego, the self-centeredness, putting career and craft above all, finding validation in shallow pursuits, lack of delayed gratification, victim mentality, nihilism. The list goes on.
It’s a cultural thing. It’s systemic. It’s engineered and applauded. These are the ideas and behaviors that have been sold to us as “progress” and “empowering” when in reality they are LITERALLY the opposite of those things, and lead you down the opposite path that you intended to go down.
There are no mistakes or coincidences. When so many people are led down this path there is an intention behind it. You’ve been sold a shit playbook for life. Realizing that, and the roots of how and why that happens should be enough to make you want to change your habits. Tomorrow’s a new day.”
A recent poll found that Americans are the unhappiest they’ve been in 50 years.
It became clear watching this two-hour interview that the reason so many people are unhappy might just be because of the shitty state of our society.
We’re a generation of selfish assholes constantly told to “do you” and “put yourself first.”
This sounds like a noble idea on the surface, but I’m telling you that doing that has NOT led to lasting contentment (or happiness) for me.
Happiness is just a byproduct of something deeper. And it comes and goes. For me, I feel happy when a video goes viral. But do I feel fulfilled?
Not really. It’s just ego food. And our ego is like a monster with an endless appetite.
Maybe we shouldn’t chase happiness.
Maybe we need to escape the dungeon of selfishness our society loves to beckon us into.
Maybe we need to ask ourselves how we can be of service to others.
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