How I'm Finding Inspiration As A Creator Again After Burning Out
I deleted an old vlog. Now I'm starting a new one.
“Necesito mas!!” I said.
I just won a big pot in a poker room here in Mexico City.
I was stuck, though.
It was getting late in the tournament, and I didn’t have that many chips.
I needed to get my ass in gear if I wanted to win this thing.
With about 25 players left, I started getting more aggressive.
I started stealing pots that didn’t belong to me. I started showing people my cards after bluffing them.
I wanted to fuck with them.
And I was.
Within about 50 minutes I 20x’d my stack and became the chip leader of the whole tournament.
I went from the brink of elimination to chip leader.
It was in this moment, sitting at a final table of good poker players as the leader, that I realized something incredible.
This is what I wanted to do.
This, right here.
I LOVE this shit.
The adrenaline. The pressure. The mind games. The adjustments. The way the chips feel.
How does this relate to content creation?
Let me back up.
In January this year, I had a clip from “Rounders” pop up on my Youtube feed. It’s a poker movie with Matt Damon. A few days later I rented the movie and watched the whole thing.
It was fantastic.
After that, I started having “poker vlogs” pop up in my Youtube feed.
I consumed them like a birthday cake.
It was fascinating to hear someone’s thought process as they played a hand, and I got all sorts of new terms thrown my way as I studied.
I started watching poker vlogs while doing dishes. While showering. While laying in bed. During lunch breaks.
I became obsessed.
In May I decided to see if there were any good casinos to play at in Mexico City.
I was scared, though, because my Spanish was still pretty rudimentary. One night I told my girlfriend I was going to play some poker. She was surprised, but also understanding. I took off into the darkness with a pounding heart.
“What if I look like an idiot?”
“What if I can’t understand them?”
I was so nervous. Eventually I got into the poker room, asked to play cash, and bought in for about $150. ‘So far so good!’ I thought.
Eventually players filtered in, and the dealer started throwing us our cards.
For the first 40 minutes, I nearly rocketed out of my chair from the adrenaline.
Then I got dealt pocket aces. Oh no. I was about to get involved.
I put in chips to play and a gentleman across from me did, too. We went heads up to the flop where the board came K92 or something. He bet heavy.
“Shit, what if I don’t have the best hand?” I thought.
I called sheepishly, trying to hide the fact my hands were shaking.
Next came a 10. The man bet again.
“Fuck. I have to call. I have to.”
I called.
The next card came a 7 or something.
“All in” he said.
“Call” I replied, without even thinking about it.
‘Fuck Tom. What if you’re beat???’
He turned over his cards to show a pair of Kings.
I showed my aces, which were good, and I won a $150 pot in about 90 seconds.
Looking back, it was idiotic for me to think that my Aces weren’t good there.
Ever since this moment, I’ve had poker on my mind every single day.
I’ve made it to a few final tables, won money in a few tournaments, and learned a bunch of lessons along the way.
But for 3 months I never ever thought that this is what I wanted to do.
Recently in my business I’ve had this nagging feeling of dread. I’m bored. I adore writing, but even that’s getting stale. And if I could ever get to the point where I could do something else that I liked for money, I’d do it.
Problem was, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.
During this past poker tournament, though, I realized that this is what I need to do.
I need to play poker for a living.
I hear you all laughing—and that’s fine.
How will I do it?
Content creation. I will make my own poker vlog.
I will blend one thing I’m still a beginner at with another thing I’ve been doing for the last 7 years.
Eventually, if I stick with it, it’s going to work.
I know it will.
If you don’t believe me, there’s a lot of popular poker vloggers who make six figures a year posting videos. It’s not outside the realm of possibility.
So what’s the lesson here?
Follow your curiosity when you’re lost.
Last year, doing poker vlogs was not even on my radar.
I’m not even sure if it’s the right move to pursue this.
However nothing sets me on fire quite like poker at the moment—so I might as well chase it.
We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Chase your passions while you can. Best of luck to you!
That's awesome! Looking forward to it.